.png){kind=logo}
themotherhoodhypnobirthing.com
My Philosophy
As I said at the beginning I believe that growing and giving birth to a baby is a mix of magic and mayhem. It is something that is incredible, has it's challenges and should be as comfortable and enjoyed as much as possible. Through my own experiences and through listening to other women I've come to understand how much of an impact pregnancy and the labour journey has on us. Prioritising well being throughout these phases sets a blue print for how you feel about yourself, and how you feel entering parenthood. I know that Hypnobirthing helps women to enjoy the pregnancy part of motherhood, it empowers women in understanding their bodies and it helps prepare the mind and body to be in the best condition for the amazing part of the journey that is childbirth.
My intention for The Motherhood Hypnobirthing is to help women to regain trust in their own wonderful ability. It is to enable women to enjoy the whole journey into motherhood, to feel informed, calm and confident. It is to help parents to create the birth that is right for them.
Content Warning: Below is my own history with hypnobirthing. Baby loss is part of my story. Please feel free to skip this section.
Hypnobirthing and me
Listening to the hypnosis relaxation tracks had a very noticeable change to how I felt when I thought about labour. I was no longer terrified but excited, calm, and positive.
When the big day came I felt relaxed and calm and things progressed smoothly. I'd been in early labour with mild, irregular surges a good few hours, managing to eat, look at photo's, sleep, all very comfortably. At about 2pm I got in the bath and put on my playlist of calm music and relaxation tracks. Kris was the most amazing birth partner, caring and calm, it was so relaxed. Around 4:30 pm my surges became more regular and at 5:15pm he rang the midwife who was coming to examine me and hopefully send me to hospital. Just before she arrived I had a feeling our baby would arrive soon. She arrived at 6pm with gas and air, and confirmed this - I was fully dilated and wouldn't make the hospital. At 6:15pm my waters broke and not long after I began feeling the urge to push. At 6.49pm he was born on our kitchen floor, (the closest room to our downstairs bathroom) with my mums favourite song playing. I couldn't believe it was over and had been so beautiful, calm and special. Afterwards I felt amazing and was in awe of childbirth. I began that next phase of parenthood feeling great and Kris and I absolutely loved our new world with Arlo, our new baby.
The following part of the story is about child loss and may cause distress.
Things were wonderful and I absolutely loved the experience of motherhood, but the plain sailing wasn't to last. A year later I discovered I was pregnant again and so happy. This time our little boy wasn't well and not going to survive, I delivered him at 15/16 weeks . Afterwards I had some complications that required emergency theatre, I was traumatised by the whole experience. It broke me and my heart. It took me 3 years to process and begin to heal and eventually I felt I could name him. We called him Gabriel.
I became pregnant again a year after Gabriel. I felt like I was back to square one and began feeling anxious -having a baby was dangerous again. At 6 months I was unable to sleep, unable to work at the hospital, I was so anxious about the welfare of the baby. I realise now I hadn't fully processed what had happened and was still haunted by it. I listened to a bit of hypnobirthing and it was hard as I wasn't in the mood for positive birth talk. I felt frightened about the baby but looking back I didn't feel frightened about the labour.
When my waters broke I didn't go into labour. 24 hours later I went into hospital to be induced. There were so many memories from my last experience there, the same midwife on shift, the high risk room next door to the room I'd recovered in after Gabriel's delivery. I remember fear rising over me in the corridor, tears, pain and panic. Then somewhere inside a small voice told me I could do it. I stopped and breathed. An inner voice told me I could handle whatever it was that was to come. In that moment calm washed over me and suddenly I felt able to continue. I then got to work - I covered the machines I didn't want to see with sheets. The main light switched off, side light and fairy lights on. The room mostly dark, with calm music playing and a lavender pouch on my pillow - I made the space my own little sanctuary. I had the rest of my waters broke at 1:30am. Surges began as they had last time, comfortable and irregular. At 5am I was given a drip with medication to speed things along. The surges became a lot more intense but still I felt like I could manage. I used gas and air but found my own deep breathing brought me more comfort. My breath remained my anchor to a calm mental space and at 8:50am our beautiful boy, Alvie was born. I believe that all I had learned through hypnobirthing that first time was still stored there in my mind.
I believe it's what helped me to have another beautiful and calm birth.
I first heard about hypnobirthing when I was pregnant with my first son. At this point childbirth frightened me and for two reasons . 1) I have a horribly low pain threshold and 2) as a children's nurse I'd looked after poorly babies and felt so afraid that my own labour might result in a similar outcome. To me birth was dangerous. Things began to change when I saw an extremely anxious couple hypnobirthing and watched them have a very calm, relaxed birth. If they could do it maybe I could. I decided to enroll on a course and did the recommended prep work - I can't express how glad I am I did. I loved learning about my body, understanding what changes happened and how hormones worked.
Now I'm pregnant with our next little love and already I have been listening to the relaxation tracks and feeling positive and excited for labour. I am mostly filled with hope and I have faith that when the time comes I'll again feel calm and enjoy my birth journey . Every now and then the old fear pops up but I've learned it's ok - it's natural and it won't stay. I know that practising relaxation techniques and listening to the tracks are there to help me get back to that calm. I hope through The Motherhood Hypnobirthing programme, that is what I can bring to you too - calmness, faith, positivity and a beautiful birth.
_edited.jpg)
Baby River Update
I've been meaning to update this page for so long with the story of baby River's arrival and here it is.
My pregnancy remained super calm and relaxed. I was under the care of the Highfield home birth team, who were brilliant in every way. I listened to the hypno tracks, I visualised the birth I wanted - at home in a birth pool surrounded with fairy lights and candles. I did pregnancy yoga, I went walking, I had energy and enthusiasm. I was so surprised that the magic I'd felt waiting for Arlo's arrival had come back to me and I was for the most, truly and deeply calm. It was something I didn't think would happen again after the loss I felt with Gabriel.
Unfortunately a family member's illness affected that serenity and the last few weeks of my pregnancy was fraught. I did my best to rebalance and at times got back to calm but the anxiety I felt for my loved one crept in. I began to feel impatient and just wanted to go into labour. When my waters did brake, like with Alvie, nothing happened. I tried my best to remain relaxed and every now and then mild surges would start and then stop again as the clock ticked away and the prospect of another hospital induction loomed over me. I waited and declined the induction offered at 24 hours and waited some more.
The Highfield homebirth team were incredible at supporting and encouraging me and I felt so well cared for. I tried lots of things but couldn't find the peace I needed to relax and begin my dreamy, candlelit home birth. After another day and night I decided it was time to accept my birthing fate - I was too stressed and it would be another hospital induction. Despite my change of location I was still cared for by the home birth team and my Midwife Emma was incredible at advocating for me. She knew of my history and my desire to avoid the obstetric unit full of memories. She arranged with the consultant midwife for my induction to take place in the much less medicalised midwifery led unit instead and was there to greet me with reassurance and encouragement.
Arriving at the hospital there was some anticipatory anxiety but not as much dread as when I went in to have Alvie. We set to work with fairy lights, essential oils and music and again made the space our own. We were cared for and listened to by a wonderful midwife. The rest of my waters were broken and my request to wait some more for the contractions to begin on their own was honoured. We walked again and still nothing happened. Just before 8pm the IV infusion to start the contractions began. It was increased a few times and then about 9.30pm my contractions arrived at last. By10.30pm they were well and truly established and very intense. My incredible midwife Emma, a hypnobirthing practitoner herself, was back caring for us. She struck the balance of respecting my privacy and tending to my needs so perfectly, and I felt so safe and well looked after that entering my birthing zone came naturally. As always Kris was there supportive and tuned in to what I needed. My safety blanket and solace.
Despite the drips and monitors, the connection to knowing what my body needed was deeper this labour. Through each intense surge I focused on my breath, and an image would float up of what position my body wanted to be in. As the surge ebbed, I was able to move into position and then focus on my breath again. I felt completely tuned in to what my body and baby wanted and with my breathe, created a rhythm that kept me centred. Not long after I felt an overwhelming need to lie down on my side. I recognised this from my previous labours and knew it was almost time to push. My period of transition and feeling like I couldn't go on was swift and recognised for what it was. Emma's wise words of encouragement floated in, there was a few more breaths and the urge to push took over. And then there he was, born 20 minutes before midnight, wide eyed and safe and here. Our little summer solstice babe, our baby River.
The love,peace and content I felt was so special.
Again the hypnobirthing practices supported me and brought be back to peace amid the chaos, and another beautiful birth.
The care we received throughout pregnancy, labour, the maternity ward and then back at home was extraordinary. The understanding of how our history would impact us and the acknowledgement and respect of our wishes affected us so deeply. The kindness showed to us undoubtably led to even deeper healing, and we are forever grateful to everyone involved in our care, especially to Emma who advocated and understood us so well.
River's babyhood has been magical. Being a mum to three is challenging at times but there's so much beauty there too. Often things don't go the way I imagined, just like River's birth, and I've learnt that although it can be hard and disappointing not getting what you want, sometimes something else unexpected might come out of it, so hold onto hope - always.